What happens next

Well i just had half a blog done and my keyboard battery shat its self :(
So what i was saying before i was so rudely disconnected
I have been busy
Being a mum a darn house wife and and supportive friend
Its range seeing someone go thru somthing you did cause your like oh shit i know whats happening every second and every thought
Anxiety dear readers (if there is any??) Is a massive bitch with spikes!!!!
If you have never experianced it which i say lucky you
Then you have no idea what the hell its like!
I watched a friend go thru it and fuck!! Its ridiculous all you can do is calm them and talk them thru it because there isnt anything but that that will help accept time drugs and support.

Thankfully it does get better it will never go away you just learn how to cope and deal with it and then eventually you can teach yourself house to not let it happen. It pops up sometimes and tries to peak its spiky head out but you have to squash that shit straight up!!

So apart from that i have made a decision to go for a session and no not one involving a bong and chopping bowl
But a life coach session! Hmmm my theory is what can it hurt and also i have spoken with this lady before and she is bloody awesome!!
She has gone thru shit and can understand where i am at which i still dont fully get and im sure i shall broach that soon and explain inside my head.

Ask if anyone has read this and has a tip comment or thought on anxiety or panic attacks please speak up sharing our experiances lets us know we are not weak or stupid we are normal and have just hit a bump in our journey

I know one person is reading me
And i say cheers chicky your doing awesome
And i hope my ramblings help in some way

Power n strength to you all
ME

Sheldon

So it's been a while busy busy no time to myself Haha that's being a mum
Have you ever watched the big bang theory personally I love it sheldon is erratic full on up down happy sad manic and anxious all bundled into one thus why I have decided to name my illness sheldon I fits perfectly. 

When I told Mr C he nodded his head in agreement  before I could even explain why hahaha so he gets it :) Bazinga!!!!

Well sheldon is under control at the moment so that's good still there but is safely behind bars rambling on I still hear n listen but don't react most of the time.

Most of the the time..... Sometimes sheldon pops out and I may have a little crazy moment and jig along a bit manic to a certain song like yesterday cruising along and the song I like that came on off I went for a moment I'm sure I would have looked a little odd if anyone noticed hahaha but do I care....  Nope not one bit

Cheers ppl stay tuned
ME

Naming the beast

Well after last post it was clear I was struggling and yep I hit bottom big exhaustion took over and I crashed hard! 
The anxiety found its way thru
I actually woke up when B2 did grabbed her put her in her high chair and honestly I could barely look at her I just felt like giving up running away wishing for a different existence.
I went to hug Mr C and see if his support would help pull me through but I got a you just need to sort out your head!"
Yep ok ill get right on that...... 

So after an email to my psychologist  I increased my medication
I wanted to decrease  for a few reasons which I will discuss at a later date

B2 went to Mac's place for a sleepover and most of that day I rested in bed read my book and organised some thing in the house that had been bugging me
Slept like a baby that night awoke and sorted more stuff
As time ticked on I was anxious about getting good B2 but I talked myself into feeling ok
How I did this was through different methods I had learnt when  I wast my worst I will share them in my next blog as to me they are so simple and so effective
I also have some pretty amazing friends and I have found the more I'm open about my illness which I have decided to name (stay tuned for that)  the more I realise I am not alone and people are so understanding and empathetic and just as bonkers as I am lol

Today is a new day I feel good and I didn't smack Mr C up the head for being so blunt and right though I seriously thought about it

Sun is shining and B1 B2 and Me are heading out for a day trip :)
Stay tuned for my coping technics  and my illness name
Cheers
ME

Days ending in y

So things have been tricky exhausting few days.  I am trying to reduce my medications as it makes me drowsy it's seems to be helping but both my baby's have fallen ill  and the anxiety has returned.  Is this due to stressful situation or do I need to stay on higher dose?  I have tried this a few times and something always happens at the same time to make it tougher and harder to judge
Am I cursed did I accidentally squish a fairy or Chinamen  as they say?? 
Or is it just plan Murphy's law

I'm not whinging but for Pete's  sake universe girl a girl a break I think I've had enough crap
A stroke and almost dying six days after having my B2 is bad enough

There are other worse of but this is my hell  im in

I shall push forward and see how I go perseverance is the key

I choose to Not let this get me today or tomorrow  I may stumble but I will stay upright

Cheers for lending your ears
Me

fumbling my way thru this

well hello anyone who is out there?? I don't really have much of a clue what or how im doing this but hey I shall learn

I wanted to start blogging as a therapeutic tool and yes I suck at spelling at times

I am suffering lack of sleep at present and a bazillion thing going on in my poor little broken brain
yep it is broken just slightly I am a stroke survivor and still young well youngish

I am hoping to write what ever I feel is happening at the time and not be judged or ridiculed so if your one of those kind of people please don't bother as I have no tolerance for you

 I am a mum a wife and damn good friend though very few really know me thru and thru
 except my poor hubby he knows ALL about me  the good bad and pure painful and he still said I DO im one lucky woman

until I get some more time people have a fab evening
xoxo

ME